The Science & Art of Shukansi
Hey ! My Name is Saqajaan and am about to teach Somali men how to get laid. The world is full of assholes like me giving you advice you don’t want or need. But, every now and then you get some nugget of wisdom that makes all the turds worthwhile. Now take notes you idiots !
1-The Look
It doesn't really matter how you look like , be aware that you can get laid even if you look like a baboon ''danyeer'' convince your self that you are Hotter than ''Will Smith'' and he ain't got shit on you .
Will Smith = You 
Are you Ugly man ?
It doesn't really matter how you look like , be aware that you can get laid even if you look like a baboon ''danyeer'' convince your self that you are Hotter than ''Will Smith'' and he ain't got shit on you .
Will Smith = You 
Are you Ugly man ?
Even Robert Mugabi gets laid because the mofu got a game . why not you ?
2-The Style
Fashions & Style are very important to impress women, have you heard Bigge's song ''Nasty Girl'' When he says '' I stay, dressed, to impress Spark these bitches interest Sex is all I expect ''
now lets light cast on the ''dress to impress '' so here is the question .. How you gonna expect Sex from a girl when you dress like ''Odey Cabdulle '' ?
It's not a must to be Mr. Sean John or Armani ! All what you need to do is know what is right for you , what fits on you , what looks good on your body ? Color is very important pick what looks nice on your skin , like example don't dress red, orange or yellow when you are very dark. Try black ,white , gray , brown , the blue family , and Pink ...Yes Pink you know why ? women love guys that have the guts to show their feminine side that shows they are very confident . Its cool to be hip hop sometimes but not too extreme , don't be a thug wannabe too much hip hop fashion sucks , and it drives women nuts and remember you're not Ludacris or 50 cent .
<=== Don't be like this animals
<=== Be like this elegant guy
3-Health & Hygiene
If you are lugo baasto and your mother, sister or wife didn't feed you good enough ..saqajaan will hook you up with good constructive tips from lifetime experience that will help you alot to improve better results in your general hygiene . I am not a health care doctor but the following points will make your mission easier Now lets do this step by step .
A)Food :-eat healthy clean food with less cholesterol & oil ..avoid too much mac macaan ''sweets & sugar '' put in your eyes the main target , the real sweet and sugar Pu55y that you will get later on, think about the orgasm and the good feelings behind the orgasm all that stuff demands a healthy man .
B)Teeth & breath :- If you're a smoker or ''jaad'' chewer or addicted to tea & coffee , Make sure to give extra attention to your teeth visit your dentist once every 4 months and brush your teeth twice a day ,Did u think that cleaning your teeth alone does the job? You have to rub and clean that tongue---this is how you can avoid your breathe from smelling like your ayeeyo's fart.
<=== imagine smiling with teeth like this
<===How about this ?
Compare and think I'm sure you know what's your best.
C) Hair care :- make sure to take a good care of your hair clean it ..wash it with a good quality shampoo be aware that caps & hats are fatal consequences of hair loss, LOVE your hair and take a good care of it . If you're bald and hairless don't worry just remember that JOE and Michael Jordan are doubtless players and they give girls mad heads .
D)Avoid Excessive Masturbation :-
Masturbation is a healthy sexual behavior. Like other behaviors, when over practiced or addicted it can lead to both psychological and physiological imbalances like :-
1-Fatigue. feeling tired all the time (daal badan )
2-Lower back pain ( Dhabar xanuun )
3-Stress / Anxiety ( Buufis )
4-Hair Loss ( Bidaar )
5-Soft Erection (Kacsi tabcaan ah )
6-Eye floaters or fuzzy vision ( ill xanuun iyo wax arag daro )
7- Memory Lose ( xasuus daro )
2-The Style
Fashions & Style are very important to impress women, have you heard Bigge's song ''Nasty Girl'' When he says '' I stay, dressed, to impress Spark these bitches interest Sex is all I expect ''
now lets light cast on the ''dress to impress '' so here is the question .. How you gonna expect Sex from a girl when you dress like ''Odey Cabdulle '' ?
It's not a must to be Mr. Sean John or Armani ! All what you need to do is know what is right for you , what fits on you , what looks good on your body ? Color is very important pick what looks nice on your skin , like example don't dress red, orange or yellow when you are very dark. Try black ,white , gray , brown , the blue family , and Pink ...Yes Pink you know why ? women love guys that have the guts to show their feminine side that shows they are very confident . Its cool to be hip hop sometimes but not too extreme , don't be a thug wannabe too much hip hop fashion sucks , and it drives women nuts and remember you're not Ludacris or 50 cent .
<=== Don't be like this animals
<=== Be like this elegant guy3-Health & Hygiene
If you are lugo baasto and your mother, sister or wife didn't feed you good enough ..saqajaan will hook you up with good constructive tips from lifetime experience that will help you alot to improve better results in your general hygiene . I am not a health care doctor but the following points will make your mission easier Now lets do this step by step .
A)Food :-eat healthy clean food with less cholesterol & oil ..avoid too much mac macaan ''sweets & sugar '' put in your eyes the main target , the real sweet and sugar Pu55y that you will get later on, think about the orgasm and the good feelings behind the orgasm all that stuff demands a healthy man .
B)Teeth & breath :- If you're a smoker or ''jaad'' chewer or addicted to tea & coffee , Make sure to give extra attention to your teeth visit your dentist once every 4 months and brush your teeth twice a day ,Did u think that cleaning your teeth alone does the job? You have to rub and clean that tongue---this is how you can avoid your breathe from smelling like your ayeeyo's fart.
<=== imagine smiling with teeth like this
<===How about this ?Compare and think I'm sure you know what's your best.
C) Hair care :- make sure to take a good care of your hair clean it ..wash it with a good quality shampoo be aware that caps & hats are fatal consequences of hair loss, LOVE your hair and take a good care of it . If you're bald and hairless don't worry just remember that JOE and Michael Jordan are doubtless players and they give girls mad heads .
D)Avoid Excessive Masturbation :-
Masturbation is a healthy sexual behavior. Like other behaviors, when over practiced or addicted it can lead to both psychological and physiological imbalances like :-
1-Fatigue. feeling tired all the time (daal badan )
2-Lower back pain ( Dhabar xanuun )
3-Stress / Anxiety ( Buufis )
4-Hair Loss ( Bidaar )
5-Soft Erection (Kacsi tabcaan ah )
6-Eye floaters or fuzzy vision ( ill xanuun iyo wax arag daro )
7- Memory Lose ( xasuus daro )
E)general hygiene :-Gentlemen--I'm trying to keep this short, sweet and simple, Other hygiene topic include....taking a shower! There's no reason why you should walk around smelling like a Pakistani Store or some meat shop. Get a bar of soap and rub rub rub boy. If you can't remember the last time you took a shower....it's probably a sign for you to hit that washroom. And, FYI: Cologne is not used as a mask to hide your body odor---its better used when you're clean.
F) Smell Good :-
Many Somali Men use perfumes but they misuse it quantitatively, and unfortunately some of them select the wrong scents , some scents have good qualities but think about what fits on your personality I will list my favorite perfumes and i hope you try it and enjoy the SEXY affections
<<---- Be Delicious by Donna Karan is enough to make a pubic hair of any woman curls, it drives them crazy-seriously! '' recommended for evening time use ''
<<---- BVLGARI BLACK ,you will be chased by the big headed xalimoz if you use this scent ,believe me she will drop all the suuro suuro '' INCLUDE THE PANTS '' to smell this OH MAMA MIO '' recommended for daytime use ''
<< --- POLO BLACK by Ralph Lauren, you will get sick of the daily compliments that you will get from hungry single mothers for your love '' recommended for daytime use'' 
<<--- Baldessarini Ambre - This is the shit . . redicilously irresistible when Ambre is mixed with your body odor - you will be confident like '' i see what i want and i go get it '' and trust me dude . . . it's more than i can describe -try it .4-Attitude
A) Kindness and Sincerity in Men ?
Are you a gay ? I mean ..technically you're right, but ..do you know all the lyrics to James Blunt? Not too many straight guys understand that being an asshole/arrogant bastard / sharmuut is a bad thing and very unappealing .
B) Honesty
You have to be honest with women , don't be a balloon man bright from outside and empty inside , imagine how can a lie destroy what you have been building for days/months and years, However you still have the full right to hide some facts about you , don't play with all your cards at once ..keep some for the good timing .
C) Be A Jerk
Don't be literally rude but drop some cocky as funny lines , the first time you see a woman make fun of her and her style tell her that her forehead is swollen ask her if she's okey (you're making fun of her big forehead) muhahaha .
D)Intelligence
Don't forget to mature the level of your conversation with her after the cocky & funny role, or you wont get anywhere women loves respectful men .
A) Kindness and Sincerity in Men ?
Are you a gay ? I mean ..technically you're right, but ..do you know all the lyrics to James Blunt? Not too many straight guys understand that being an asshole/arrogant bastard / sharmuut is a bad thing and very unappealing .
B) Honesty
You have to be honest with women , don't be a balloon man bright from outside and empty inside , imagine how can a lie destroy what you have been building for days/months and years, However you still have the full right to hide some facts about you , don't play with all your cards at once ..keep some for the good timing .
C) Be A Jerk
Don't be literally rude but drop some cocky as funny lines , the first time you see a woman make fun of her and her style tell her that her forehead is swollen ask her if she's okey (you're making fun of her big forehead) muhahaha .
D)Intelligence
Don't forget to mature the level of your conversation with her after the cocky & funny role, or you wont get anywhere women loves respectful men .
5- Charisma & qualifications of a Man :-
Women Love men with great personalities , men with strong personalities, strong personality here doesn't mean dominating women all the time , you have to show that you are a civilized man with a brain , women love inspiring men , great inspirations demands soul power and values , Be a Man, know who you are because Women can sense when you are being genuine and when you are not. You may be able to fool them for a short time but not in the long run , don't be someone else because there is nobody can be you better than you , don't be ashamed of who you are and where you come from , higher your self esteem with positive commitments Like education , work , help and support others .
6- WORDS TO AVOID :-The list is huge but i will list few ones according to what some girls that i interviewed said
1) '' Nayaa '' somaligirls hates this word they will certainly respond you '' waryaa ma ada i naageystay'' .
2) '' yarta & yareey '' by using this words the girl will feel that you putting her down , its a romance killer don't do that .
3) '' bajaq '' this word is known as dhilo or hoe in southern regions of Somalia ..in north they will laugh at you and think that you are a clown (( you don't wanna be in this situations )) .
4) '' heedhe '' this word is so gay , don't use it unless you're so feminine and that's a whole different thing .
5) '' wan ka helay ma isku qabana '' idiot you need to play the game first , and things like this should be'' actionized'' .
6) '' waku arkay wan ku cashaqay '' ma soconeyso upgrade your pickup line bastard this lines use to work on my granny not anymore buddy .
7) '' Naaso balaq '' Nasaheeda ya ku tusay ? don't be a moron, never say that to a girl .
7-Manly Pride & Dignity
Make it your first priority and if you have no manly pride then you're not a man. a man is not only 2 salty balls and a penis you should count personality masculinity too, simply fuck all women on this planet (except your mother ) if they gonna harm your manly pride , don't be approval seeker you have no idea how evil women can be , they can simply play you and harm your confidence & manly pride , just flirt here and there and Move to the next target don't wait for reactions and responses from a certain girl unless you love her and that's a whole different thing , here you can build a nice technique and strategy to seduce that woman and still keep your face clean .
8- The Art of Ice breaking
I personally enjoy this part of the game it's the most fun , i noticed that the most of Somali men are shy or rude with their conversation openers, i will break it down to you .
Few days ago i was invited into this African students party so i dressed well and went to the party and i was so equipped with a good appetite for eating some woman that night i could easily notice that am suffering from a major kacsi and the hurricane under my Calvin Klein stretch boxer start to be really annoying .
back to the party ..so that night i was flirting with some chimpanzee looking alike African girls when i saw this Somali beauty queen stepping into the party and her boobs was bouncing up and down at this moment i felt the hurricane under my pants is bothering me again, from exactly this erection i realized that the hurricane wants to have an intellectual wet debate based on all global warming theories with this woman - to make this short here is the conversation that i started with her .
Me : Hey Abaayo wow you look great , diraacada looks fantastic ''smiling''
The girl : '' laughing'' thanks aboowe ( i noticed that she was feeling shy )
Me : waxaan umaleeynaya diracaan ad qabtid aniga ayu igu qurxoon yahay '' deep eye contact''
The Girl : ''laughing again and said in a silly way '' Are you serious ?
Me : yes abaayo wax kaste oo qurxoon wey igu soo baxayaan nooh
The Girl : sheeko ''laughs''
after this silly and cool conversation opener i started asking her some unusual questions '' not the boring usual ones '' then i make some good statement after every answer she gives me '' to make it a topic'' then she asks me questions , anyways the night ended by taking her number and after 2 late night calls it ended up inviting her into my place
(( the time i wrote this article she was doing my laundry ))
(( The Hurricane was a murder ))
quoted from the laundry girl
9-The BadBoy Theory
You know guys i hate to talk about my self , let me list down what girls think and say about us Badboys !
"They add spice to our good girl lives. They make us feel wild and sexy."
"They excite us because they are so different from us. They're the guys our parents warned us about."
"They put passion into our sometimes boring, structured lifestyle."
"They aren't afraid to argue with us, and they usually win. We know they won't come crawling back."
"They represent reb ellion, excitement, and steamy sex all at once. We're under their spell."
"They are hungry, unpredictable and a little bit dangerous"
"They make us feel sexy merely by the fact that they want us. You've got to be hot to catch a bad boy."
"They have mastered that sly come-hither stare. "
" They can sweep us off our feet before we even know what hit us, and we love that rush."
"They are irresistible because they know they're hot."
"They know what they want, and they usually get it."
"With them there's never a dull moment. You never know what they'll do next"
"They don't feel tied down to any one woman, and we love the challenge"
"They're not afraid to break out of dating norms. Actually, most dates are just hooking up."
"The word insecurity is not in their vocabulary. They don't care what others think."
"They are usually strong-willed and sexually aggressive."
"They make us feel safe because they're not intimidated by anyone else."
"They usually can't be negotiated with, but when you get your way, it's way exciting."
"They are unpredictable. They keep you on your toes. (Duplicate! "Never a dull moment")."
"They are untouchable for most women (depending on where you want to touch!)."
" They bring out the sexual animal in us because we don't feel the need to be ladylike."
"They take charge in all the right ways whether we admit we like it or not."
"They live life on their own terms. "
"Because they can be extremely charming and unquestionably passionate. We love the challenge of reaching them."
"The y act with authority even when they have no right to."
"They flirt with other women. It drives us crazy and makes us want them more."
"They can't be tested (or trusted most of the time!)"
"They are independent and throw caution to the wind."
"Because they exud e confidence at all times, making even the most secure women try harder."
"They seduce us without even trying. And we feel like we've got to work hard to seduce them at times."
"They are the right mix of mysterious and elusive. We never feel smothered but sort of wish we could."
"They carry on as if women aren't important to them. We want to be the one that matters."
"They encourage us to be a little bit bad. They love it when we're a lot bad!"
"We can be as obnoxious as we want, and we know they will always act worse.
(Women need to be lead into being bad when a man is around!)"
"They show us a b etter time than responsible, upstanding guys. We try to fight this gut reaction, but we can't. (Attraction is biological, not logical!)"
"They make us feel incredible when they do pay attention to us. The little things matter so much more."
"They love their lives and aren't bound by the rules of society. We want to let loose with them. (Again, needing to be lead to being bad.)"
"They have a lot of energy, and we can't wait to see just how they plan to use it."
"They are always a challenge. Who can resist a challenge?"
"They keep us on our toes and make us less selfish. They won't put up with it."
"They are our little "projects" to nurture and change, but if they do, we eventually dump them for another bad boy! (Challenge to see if they can make us a wuss and destroy our manhood, and toss us if they succeed! Diabolical!)"
"They have d evilishly playful personalities and a twinkle in their eyes. We never know what they're really thinking."
10- Approaching Women
"They excite us because they are so different from us. They're the guys our parents warned us about."
"They put passion into our sometimes boring, structured lifestyle."
"They aren't afraid to argue with us, and they usually win. We know they won't come crawling back."
"They represent reb ellion, excitement, and steamy sex all at once. We're under their spell."
"They are hungry, unpredictable and a little bit dangerous"
"They make us feel sexy merely by the fact that they want us. You've got to be hot to catch a bad boy."
"They have mastered that sly come-hither stare. "
" They can sweep us off our feet before we even know what hit us, and we love that rush."
"They are irresistible because they know they're hot."
"They know what they want, and they usually get it."
"With them there's never a dull moment. You never know what they'll do next"
"They don't feel tied down to any one woman, and we love the challenge"
"They're not afraid to break out of dating norms. Actually, most dates are just hooking up."
"The word insecurity is not in their vocabulary. They don't care what others think."
"They are usually strong-willed and sexually aggressive."
"They make us feel safe because they're not intimidated by anyone else."
"They usually can't be negotiated with, but when you get your way, it's way exciting."
"They are unpredictable. They keep you on your toes. (Duplicate! "Never a dull moment")."
"They are untouchable for most women (depending on where you want to touch!)."
" They bring out the sexual animal in us because we don't feel the need to be ladylike."
"They take charge in all the right ways whether we admit we like it or not."
"They live life on their own terms. "
"Because they can be extremely charming and unquestionably passionate. We love the challenge of reaching them."
"The y act with authority even when they have no right to."
"They flirt with other women. It drives us crazy and makes us want them more."
"They can't be tested (or trusted most of the time!)"
"They are independent and throw caution to the wind."
"Because they exud e confidence at all times, making even the most secure women try harder."
"They seduce us without even trying. And we feel like we've got to work hard to seduce them at times."
"They are the right mix of mysterious and elusive. We never feel smothered but sort of wish we could."
"They carry on as if women aren't important to them. We want to be the one that matters."
"They encourage us to be a little bit bad. They love it when we're a lot bad!"
"We can be as obnoxious as we want, and we know they will always act worse.
(Women need to be lead into being bad when a man is around!)"
"They show us a b etter time than responsible, upstanding guys. We try to fight this gut reaction, but we can't. (Attraction is biological, not logical!)"
"They make us feel incredible when they do pay attention to us. The little things matter so much more."
"They love their lives and aren't bound by the rules of society. We want to let loose with them. (Again, needing to be lead to being bad.)"
"They have a lot of energy, and we can't wait to see just how they plan to use it."
"They are always a challenge. Who can resist a challenge?"
"They keep us on our toes and make us less selfish. They won't put up with it."
"They are our little "projects" to nurture and change, but if they do, we eventually dump them for another bad boy! (Challenge to see if they can make us a wuss and destroy our manhood, and toss us if they succeed! Diabolical!)"
"They have d evilishly playful personalities and a twinkle in their eyes. We never know what they're really thinking."
10- Approaching Women
guys find conversating with women a complicated thing, it's a matter of life and death for them , some men sweat .. some others act like Puff Daddy however the main goal here is to impress some girl in every way , from my previous ri ch experiences with somali women i will simplify it for you. I am not the man i am today without failures and achievements in this fields, in short i dumped and i have been dumped too - from this point and another i got my experiences . therefore am able to give you good tips and advices that will make you get laid as soon as possible (it's about time-buy your condoms from now ) when you approaching some girl please follow the following instructions :-1- Be Yourself : women want you for who you are not for who you trying to be
2-Language : avoid any complicated vocabulary in your language .
3- Express yourself : Sir you have the full right to express your self no matter what others think and say about you '' shit in them '' however you need to focus on the language and the way you express yourself in .
4-Be a good listener : women love to talk and there is nothing incomperable for them more than listening to their own voices ( provide them what they need ) .
5-Be a go od speaker : speak loud and clear make a good sense, prepare in your mind the long statements that you wanna make, be confident , don't be shy or scared and try to understand that this alien with the long nails and boobs that standing infront of you is just a woman ..not your father .. Bingo !
6-Don't brag always : action talks louder however you still can brag about things that are worth it ( Like example: you can claim that you know Fly Casanova and brag about it ) .
Some guys might understand and already know the previous tips that i stated but there is a big question ma rk in their heads about ''What to talk about with women ? '' good question ! well try to know the person that you are trying to approach find out her interests , hobbies ..ect and ofcourse your understanding from the way she talks you can figure that out -
you can talk about anything you like but i want you to avoid the following topics
A) The disgusting things ( Don't tell her that you going to do xaar - don't even tell her what you ate in that chinese resturant last night ) .
B) Direct sex talk Don't tell her that you are a permanent watcher to Jenna Jameson's porn series every saturday night, don't mention things like '' i saw a video of two camels giving each other mad heads on youtube '' that's nasty - however you can kick the ball into her direction and imply juicy things and let her figure out ¨ ( god i love this game ) .
''A rude woman lacks confidence ''
Women On Period
Problems : 70% of women fall in love when they are on their period and 90% of them wants to kill somebody those days according to Fly Casanova's researchers . . .
Every girl comes armed with a standard set of annoying questions designed to break us down.
they ask stupid things like ''If I swallow it, will a baby grow in my stomach?”
I personaly avoid women, those days they turn into my childhood nightmare Tina Turner and they are ready to cut my balls and hang it on their earrings . ( will never happen )
The day they have their period, logic and sanity takes a vacation..And why not? It's the week where 1+1 never equals 2 .
Ever argue with a girl about something and they randomly insult you with something that has no relevance to the argument? That's their way of trying to wear you down and push you off-topic.
They smell like a fish market don't get close if you're alergic to fish .
Solution : If the argument escalates, cut off all communication with her and walk away women bite & scratches have fatal consequences on your skin .
To be continued . . .
